"Haven't you tried, you know, liking someone else?"

Dear Love Expert,
So... there's this guy, let's call him L (not to be confused with the character from Death Note). I've liked L for a few years, but my crush didn't become major until a few months ago. He works at a local Mexican restaurant that my family often goes to, and he's so adorable and funny and nice and intelligent and all this other stuff. Here's the thing, though: L is in his early twenties, and I'm in high school. What should I do?
--Crazy Enchilada Lady

Dear Crazy Enchilada Lady,
Hold on, there. He's WAY too old for you. It's illegal to date someone who is significantly older than you. Everyone knows all older guys are perverts. Having a crush on this guy is a disaster waiting to happen. Luckily, my magical powers tell me that this guy you're talking about has a brother who's about your age. Why don't you try liking him instead?
Best regards,
The Love Expert


If you didn't already know, the Crazy Enchilada Lady asking for advice is me. The so-called Love Expert represents the attitudes that helpful adults have had when I told them about my crush.
Now, just so we're clear, I'm not saying it's a good idea to date someone who is significantly older than you. Although I think it's only technically illegal if the two people have sex (something I don't plan on doing until I'm an adult, anyway), it's still risky, and, let's face it, trying to tell people that your relationship isn't sexual would be pretty awkward. However, I feel like some adults are overly protective of things like this. It really bothers when people suggest that I try to "like someone else," because I can't choose who I have a crush on.
Then I remember that I actually have it pretty easy. A lot of people think being gay is a choice, which leads to discrimination, bullying, and worse.
I remember when I had a crush on this girl ("Miranda"), and I confided in my church leader, believing she would understand. She ended up having some very backwards views on homosexuality, and she thought that it was something that a person could change, which isn't even the current doctrine in the LDS church.
We don't "just choose" who we have romantic feelings for. Even if we could, are our thoughts really everyone else's business?