Clever responses to anti-gay comments

"That's so gay."
Start talking about it saying "yeah! That movie is SO straight!"
Say "I don't think that _____s had sexualities, but I appreciate your openness".
Say "Ooh, yes! It must be attracted to a movie of the same genre!"
Ask "What did you say?" really loudly and then do one of the above.
Smirk, and say "You honestly believe that _____s have sexualities? Wow..."
Start yelling "WHAT THE FRAPPLEBERRIES?? WHAT THE FRAPPLEBERRIES??" over and over.
Say "really? I must call Bobs Bakery to tell them the news!"
Tell them "that's disrespectful. How would you like it if I said 'that's so (whatever describes the person you're talking to).'"
Say "Wow. Really? That was the saddest movie ever. How could you say it was gay?"
Tell them "Yep, that movie was totally happy!"
"So is that rock."
"You know it personally?"
Twirl your finger next to your head in the 'coo-coo' sign.
Make an announcment in front of the whole movie theatre, "My friend here believes that movies have sexualities!" and then start laughing.
"So am I."
"What the heck? The PENCIL has sexuality? You know, if pencils have sexualities, they might want to keep them private, so maybe you shouldn't go shouting it to the whole world? Also, why does it matter what sexuality the pencil is? I mean, using sexualities an insult when they're something you can't control is kind of stupid and mean, dontcha think?"
"Actually, that book over there is bisexual. It's attracted to romantic books like itself but also horror books."
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHO THE _____ LOVES!"
"O'migosh! That's, like, sooo totally enlightening! I never knew _____s had sexualities! Thanks for sharing!"
"NO! You have it all wrong! How many times do I have to explain it to you? The chair is transgendered/bisexual/pansexual/etc, not gay!"
"Aww, how sweet. You believe in imaginary chair spirits with varied sexualities."
"REALLY???? We must report this to the tabeloids ASAP!"
"Yeah. So?"
"Oh my gosh, I so totally did NOT know that ______s have only single-gender personalities! I'd better go tell the papparazzi, because this is REALLY, I MEAN REALLY, BIG NEWS!" Then run off and tell people."
"______s have genders? And can fall in love? And this _______ is in love with a _____ of the same genre? I SUPPORT YOU *whatever movie or item this is*!!!"
"So now you're trying to tell me that you're suddenly a genius on gender personalities? WOW, I so did not know that my friend is a total genius! You're so awesome! I love you!"
"A lesbian? Where? Is she cute?"
Say something like "ugh! My phone is so straight!"
"Whoa, I never knew that ______ was a lesbian!"
Memorize the dictionary definition of "gay" and start reciting it.
"I don't think that this _____ would appreciate that. It's very rude of you to spread peoples secrets around, thank you very much."
"I'm facinated with the fact that you believe in _____ spirits with varied sexualities."
"How do you know if the ____ is gay or not? Did you get it to write its feelings down??? Puh-lease!"

"He/she is a f*ggot."
"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! He/she is a bundle of LEAVES, not a bundle of sticks! Can't you get ANYTHING right?!"
"Did you just refer to that person as a bundle of sticks? Okay, then..." (you can say cigarette instead of bundle of sticks if you want.)

"I hate gay people."
"What's so bad about being happy?"
"WHY THE FLIPPING CHEESE DO YOU HATE GAY PEOPLE??? DID GAY NINJAS ATTACK YOUR CAR OR SOMETHING??? NO, I DON'T THINK SO!!! SO PLEASE STOP HATING!!!"

"The bible says that being gay is a sin."
"Then I would go to heaven because I am very angry at you. What? You just said happiness is a sin, and I'm definitely not happy!"
Sing Born This Way, starting at "a different lover is not a sin, believe capital H-I-M."
"And you're a woman, and you said that in church. That's also not allowed in the bible. So... you're a hypocrite."

"Homosexuality is a genetic mutation."
"And so are lot of other awesome traits..."
"So I'm a mutant? Cool!"

"How did you become gay?"
"I was bitten and became a were-gay."

"I don't believe in gay people."
"Saying you don't believe in them won't make them go away."
"And gay people don't believe in you."

"If you support gay rights, you must be gay."
"I support animal welfare; do I look like an alpaca to you?"

"Gay marriage threatens the sanctity of marriage!"
"Wrong. There are two real threats to the sanctity of marriage: government involvement and Kim Kardashian."

Anything
"Homophobia is gay."
"If you say that one more time, Frank Iero will come to your house and suck your blood."
Sing "Born This Way" starting at "No matter gay, straight, or bi/lesbian, transgendered life/I'm on the right track, baby/I was born to survive!"
Start randomly yelling pro-gay stuff at them
Tackle them and scream, "Feel my rainbow-colored wrath!"
Say, "Oh, puh-lease, I've had enough of gay hate, there really is nothing wrong with it. *sigh* I still can't beleive that these people think gay is an insult! It's so toddler-EE, dontcha think?" really loudly and act like the homophobes aren't there.
Hug them, yell "HAPPY BIRTHDAAAY!!!" in their faces, then give 'em corsets. Make them WEAR the corset for extra credit.
Twirl your finger next to your head in the 'coo-coo' sign.
"REALLY???? We must report this to the tabeloids ASAP!"
"Really? I must call Bob's Bakery and tell them the news!"