Good thing about being short: I could date Frank Iero and nobody would get on his case about being shorter than his girlfriend.
Bad thing about being short: I prefer Gerard, so the good thing about being short isn't going to happen.
I would like to have a word with whoever decided it was a good idea to
put a narwhal carcass as one of the first image results when you search
"narwhal." O_____o
Signs you may have a bad teacher:
1. He/she is a statist.
2. He/she ruins fun projects by making you work in groups.
3. He/she makes you compromise a great deal of your awesomeness so group projects will go smoothly.
4. He/she is a collectivist.
5. He/she has bad taste in music AND forces it on you.
My Lit & Comp teacher has all of these traits. See, we have to do
this project where we analyze song lyrics and style of music, which is
pretty cool, but she makes us choose from four artists, and if we choose
our own artist there have to be three other people in the class who are
willing to work with you. That means I can't analyze MCR lyrics for the
project. Worse, here are the artists we have to choose from: Beyonce,
some rapper dude, some wimp trying to be a punk rocker, and The Beatles.
At least I like The Beatles, and at least their change in style would
be interesting, but the lyrics themselves wouldn't be interesting to
analyze. Or rather, they'd be interesting in all the wrong ways ("I Am
the Walrus?" What does that even mean???).
Andy Warhol paints a picture of Campbell soup cans, and becomes famous.
I paint a picture that includes (but doesn't focus entirely on) the
most beautiful person in existence (shown in this picture), and I can't
put it in my portfolio for AP Studio Art because it's "plagiarism." As
if God would sue me for using Their creation in a painting.
Conclusion: artists think soup cans are in the public domain and are more beautiful than Gerard Way.
If I take someone's money, it's theft. If the government takes someone's
money, it's taxation. If I grope a stranger at the airport it's sexual
harassment. If the government does it, it's for travel security. If I
kill someone that might be guilty of murder, I'm a murderer as well. If
the government does it, it's capital punishment. If I followed someone
around and read their texts and emails, I'd be a stalker. If the
government does it, it's for national security. If I waterboard someone,
it's torture. If the government does it, it's enhanced interrogation.
Note: I do not intend on doing any of those things.
That moment when you look at a picture Gerard Way posted a while back,
and someone thought it was Brendon Urie, when really, IT'S MORRISSEY,
YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!
I hate how in this day of political polarization, I either have to be
racist or easily offended. So maybe I don't think it's offensive for
white people to wear stuff inspired by a culture that isn't their own
(in fact, I may even argue that it is offensive to say that white people
shouldn't participate in cultural exchange), and politically correct
liberals think I'm racist. But I do think it's offensive to use a
culture as a costume ("I'm dressed as a Native American!" Okaaayyyyy,
what are you trying to imply?), and the politically incorrect
conservatives and libertarians think I'm trying to limit free speech,
which is completely false (you have the right to say what you want, but I
also have the right to call you out on it). All because my view on this
issue is actually rational and nuanced! Conclusion: People are not
rational or nuanced anymore.
Being a nontraditional pro-lifer with anger management issues really sucks.
Even if I strongly disagree with someone, I can usually see where they're coming from.
But I still can't figure out why people like Donald Trump. Even if they
agreed with what he was saying, I would not be surprised if Donald
Trump was just trying to make fun of Republicans to prove a point. I
just can't take him seriously.
Why couldn't Gerard and Mikey cross the road? Because it was a one Way street!
It seems like true rock music (as opposed to wimp rock) isn't as popular
these days. I mean, I don't think I've ever heard a good guitar solo on
a pop radio station. Rap, on the other hand, is in a lot of popular
songs, but I don't really care for it...
Why people should stop hating Frozen:
1. The animation is cool. Especially the northern lights and scenery.
2. It features two strong female characters who are completely different, showing that there's more than one way to be strong.
3. It's one of the very few princess movies that does not focus on romance.
4. It actually portrays true love, as opposed to those shallow princess movies.
5. Olaf is cool, no pun intended. My favorite line: "Let's go kiss Hans! Who is this Hans?"
6. Oaken. "Hoo-hoo! Big summer blowout!"
7. Kristoff and Sven are funny. Anna is funny. The Duke of Weasletown, I mean Weselton, is funny.
8. The whole movie is hilarious overall.
9. The music only annoys you because your kids play it all the time.
10. I, of all people, think it's a good movie. Do you realize how different it is from most things I obsess over?
Seriously, guys. Let it go.
Political correctness doesn't just kill comedy. It kills fashion, too.
That awkward moment when you like a post from Feminists For Life, and
the recommended pages range everywhere from Planned Parenthood to Focus
On The Family. #UnconventionalProLifeProblems
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