Clever responses to things people say

Because I needed to post something that wasn't a rant about Fifty Shades of Grey.

"If you like libertarianism so much, you should move to Somalia!"

• "Maybe you should move to North Korea because you love statism so much."
• "Why don't you do some actual research on Somalia?"

"The government should pay for abortion/contraception/whatever. Anyone who believes otherwise is waging a war on women!"

• "I dare you to tell that to someone who has undergone FGM. Actually, I really hope you don't do that because that's extremely offensive."
• "Dude, chill out. It's not like you're being denied access to ______."

"Birth control is not my boss' business."

• *Facepalm*
• "So... Why do you want your boss to pay for it?"
• "Not your boss' business my butt."

"I don't care if the NSA's spying on me! I have nothing to hide!"

• "Okay, then let me read all your texts and listen to all your phone calls."
• "Privacy is for people who are not Kim Kardashian!"
• "Just because you don't care doesn't mean I feel the same way!"
• "So, should I be forced to shower in public so the government can see if I'm trying to wash off the blood of a murder victim?"