I'm Afraid of Christian Grey (and Edward Freaking Cullen!)

These lyrics are sung to the tune of this song:

Anyway, here are the lyrics:

I'm almost seventeen.
I'm filled with hopes and dreams.
I turn on the TV and
I see an ad for a creepy movie.

(Chorus)
I'm afraid of Christian Grey and Edward Freaking Cullen.
I know they're not real.
So why do I feel
this way?

It makes me so depressed
that so many women want this.
These guys are so malicious.
You deserve someone who respects your wishes.

Sure, you can have your fantasies.
If it harms none, do as you please.
But if he won't let you escape
it would be considered rape.

(Chorus)