Political quiz (satire)

1. How do you feel about poor people?
A. I hate them because they're all too lazy to get jobs and they're a burden on society.
B. I love them! Rich people are idiots and they all hate the poor. I trust the government and only the government to help the poor.

2. When should it be legal to kill people (in cases other than self-defense), and who's job is it to kill people?
A. It's the government's job to kill people, and only if the people are evil. I trust the government to kill only evil people.
B. People can kill people whenever they want, as long as it's a medical thing involving one's own body to some extent (such as abortion or assisted suicide). The government cannot kill people, unless Obama's the president.

3. How do you feel about guns?
A. They're awesome and people have the right to use them whenever they think someone's dangerous, even if it's for some stupid reason like wearing a hoodie.
B. They're dangerous and should be completely illegal.

4. What causes violence?
A. Violent video games.
B. Guns.

5. How do you feel about war?
A. War is wrong, but it's sometimes necessary. And by sometimes, I mean usually.
B. War is never okay! (Unless Obama says it is.)

6. Do you support gay marriage?
A. No! It destroys the sanctity of marriage and it hurts children and I only believe all that because of my religion. Anyone who supports it obviously wants to take away religious freedom.
B. Yes! Gay people are always being oppressed and they're the only ones who have problems, and Christians are evil for being homophobic.

7. Is birth control morally acceptable, or morally wrong?
A. It's morally wrong because it causes people to have premarital sex and it kills babies.
B. It's morally acceptable, and the government should pay for it!

8. How do you feel about government spending?
A. We should cut spending for everything except the military.
B. We should increase spending for everything except the military.

9. How should sex education be taught?
A. Abstinence-only. Teenagers shouldn't be taught the facts about birth control because it will give them the wrong message!
B. Sex should be portrayed as a good thing and abstinence should be portrayed as an unrealistic option for teens. The more Planned Parenthood gets involved, the better.

10. Who do you hate more, Muslims or Christians?
A. Muslims are all terrorists. Christians are being oppressed!
B. Christians are all backwards and homophobic. Muslims are being oppressed!

If you answered mostly A's, you are a Republican.
If you answered mostly B's, you are a Democrat.
If you answered a mix of A's and B's, you are weird and will never find a political party that completely agrees with your views.
If you answered "none of the above" and said something that was actually reasonable, then you actually think about things, unlike most people.
If you mostly answered "I don't care," then you trust the government too much.